How I Tap Into the Power of My Addiction
Use it to achieve your goals.
I’ve never been a smoker. I’m just used to have a little cig. You know, here and there. I have been doing it since I was 17.
My father, on the other hand, is a heavy smoker. For almost 50 years, he has smoked an average of one pack a day. Every day. For half a century. Aside from what it costs him, every single study shows that cigarettes are a major threat to his health. For that reason, I have often tried and convinced him to quit. In vain.
When I ask him why he continues, the answer is curiously not what I would expect. After 50 years and roughly 300'000 cigarettes, he no longer feels any pleasure in smoking. In fact, he doesn’t even inhale anymore.
According to him, the worst thing of all is the habit. The gesture, the sensation, the sound of the lighter igniting the fire. What seems impossible for him to change is this automatic behavior.
For as long as I can remember, I have always been the kind of guy who goes and tells smokers that they’re weak. That if they can’t quit, it’s because they lack willpower. I would tell them that smoking is just a simple habit they picked up and could easily break if they wanted.
But now I get it. I have experienced what it means to crave something that hard. And I want to share it with you.
This is not an article about cigarettes or how to stop smoking. However, this phenomenon made me realize how powerful a habit can be in shaping our identity. So I decided to take a closer look at it.
First, it is crucial to understand what a habit is. We often think of habits as these little things we do repeatedly in our lives. Sometimes they’re good for us. Other times they’re not.
Actually, they are way more powerful than that.
Habits are the way your brain automatically solves problems. You can think of it as a conditional statement in programming. What these functions do is they ask the computer to execute an operation if a given input is true, and another one if the input is not true.
IF it’s a weekday, then my alarm clock rings. Otherwise, it doesn’t ring. IF I am active on Facebook, then I get notifications. Otherwise, I don’t get them. IF I drink coffee at 7:30 a.m., then I have to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, I go straight to the office.
Easy.
You don’t have to think every time you switch the lights or tie your shoes. If it’s dark, your hand presses the switch. If your shoelaces are hanging, you tie them. These are completely automatic behaviors.
To create space in your conscious mind, your brain builds a habit in your unconscious mind. That way, your conscious mind can spend its limited attention on more meaningful stuff, while your unconscious mind takes care of day-to-day activities. Thus, your habits are meant to optimize your attention.
Here’s how they function: every time you face a problem, your brain starts looking for an efficient solution. If it can find a good one — meaning it works multiple times in the face of the same problem — then your brain will soon turn this solution into a habit.
The first few times, you need some conscious effort to manifest the proper solution. Press the clutch, shift gears, gradually press the gas pedal while releasing the clutch… But once you’ve repeated it often enough, the intermediate steps are no longer intentional. All you have to do is wanting to shift gears and your body will execute the action automatically. You accelerate, shift gears, and get closer to your destination.
It feels good.
This is where the reward system comes in. The latter is essentially based on a neurotransmitter called dopamine. You’ve probably heard of it, but it’s very often misunderstood. Most people think that dopamine is the “feel good” chemical, whereas it’s more like the motivation chemical. Indeed, dopamine is released when you feel like you’re about to experience something pleasant.
The first time you experience something positive, the peak of pleasure is reached at the moment of the reward. Think back, for example, to your first bite in a big fat burrito. Yummy.
But once the experience becomes familiar, the dopamine levels in your brain reach their peak just by seeing the burrito coming. It makes you anticipate pleasure and salivate, which makes you want it even more. It is this neurotransmitter that drives you towards alcohol, drugs, gambling, or porn. That’s why cigarettes and your smartphone are so addictive. They are such an effective way to solve (or escape from ) your problems that your brain clings to them as hard as it possibly can. The habit is so deeply rooted in your subconscious that you can’t seem to get rid of it.
Here’s how a habit is formed, according to the internationally renowned habits expert James Clear:
- Cue: the problem catches your conscious attention through your senses.
- Crave: strong desire that makes you want to solve the problem.
- Response: the action you take to solve the problem.
- Reward: the level of satisfaction provided by your response.
Smartphone notifications, for instance, are designed based on this pattern :
- Cue: your phone buzzes, a red icon is displayed.
- Crave: your curiosity leads you to pick up your phone and check it.
- Response: you text back.
- Reward: your curiosity is met and your job is done. The notification disappears. You feel relieved.
Once this process is repeated enough times, the habit kicks in. Soon you will go directly from step 1 to step 3. Just seeing your phone prompts you to check the screen. An unconscious impulse, devoid of any logic, has gradually become part of you. The so-called conditional expression is programmed.
You wake up and feel tired. You drink some coffee and your energy level rises sharply. Problem solved. Do it enough times and before you notice, waking up will automatically be associated with a cup of coffee. At some point, not drinking one will fail you.
Repetition is necessary because it is the only way to activate a particular neural circuit, associated with the habit you want to build. For this reason, a habit that requires little mental effort is much easier to pick up than a habit that requires training, such as learning a language or playing a musical instrument.
The greater the effort required, the harder it is to build a habit. But once repetition has set in, the hard part disappears. Actions become so automatic that they can be performed without even thinking about it.
First, playing the guitar seems impossible. But after a few months, your fingers naturally settle on the strings and make the perfect chord sound. You don’t even have to think about it. You probably don’t remember, but there was a time when you had to learn to walk one leg at a time or to speak in your mother tongue. Today, these things are so natural, they feel like somehow they’ve always been a part of you.
This learning process is always working. As long as you’re awake, it does its job, whether you like it or not. Even right now. Your brain is constantly trying to create efficient habits and eliminate those that aren’t. It identifies problems, looks for solutions, releases dopamine, and does it all over again. It’s that same process that will make you keep reading this article, or not. It will all depend on my ability to stimulate your dopaminergic reward system.
In his book, James goes so far as to say that your habits shape who you are. Indeed, if you look at the etymology of the word identity, it comes from the Latin “essentitas” and “identidem”. Put together, these two words mean “repeated beingness”.
You are literally your habits.
The more you repeat them, the more attached you get to that belief. Habits serve as proof and affirmation of your identity. That’s why the following expressions sound so familiar to us:
- He is really athletic.
- She is addicted to shopping.
- My father was an alcoholic.
- I am a smoker.
At the end of the day, we are the actions we repeat the most.
Last week in a conversation with an old acquaintance, he told me that he had quit smoking. I asked him how and he told me he had met a girl.
Strange, isn’t it? What does meeting his girlfriend have to do with his addiction to cigarettes?
“She filled the void”, he replied.
Eurêka.
As I write these words, it is 5:49 AM. I am on vacation in Greece and my girlfriend is sleeping peacefully next to me. You should see how adorable she is, with her little arms wrapped around her head.
Last night we went out to a restaurant and had a few glasses of rosé at the beach. I could have used a cigarette in this context. But yesterday I didn’t have any on me.
I woke up tonight with a sudden urge to smoke. Looking back, I spent yesterday’s day rather upset. Even edgy. The slightest noise just seemed too loud. Any unexpected event seemed too cumbersome. Like a bitter old man.
I tried and convince myself that it was because I was stressed out. Because traveling in the middle of a pandemic is complicated. But I was lying to myself. Last night, I understood: my brain is processing the habit of smoking. That’s what’s going on. And it’s fucking powerful.
But I didn’t go out looking for a cigarette. Instead, I started writing this article. Oddly enough, it relaxed me, and the urge to smoke evaporated.
One thing I learned from this experience is that the best way to replace bad habits with good ones is to have a reason to do it. A higher cause, a dream, a goal, a passion. Call it whatever you want, but you have to have a purpose that you value. A goal that motivates you to build them.
Good habits are harder to build than bad ones, so the only way to get there is to have a target to aim for. Otherwise, your only guides will be pleasure and instant gratification. The human brain is designed to take the path that requires the least amount of effort, not the healthiest in the long run.
“The alternative to valued responsibility, is impulsive low class pleasure.” — Jordan Peterson, Canadian psychologist
Your subconscious doesn’t care about your well-being. As I said, his thing is instant gratification. Like a toddler, he just wants to make the least amount of effort and have as much fun as possible. Right away.
Your role as an adult is to talk with this little child. Be empathetic and negotiate with him. Explain to him that if he is quiet, he will be rewarded later. Make him understand that by replacing your bad habits with good habits that solve the same problems, he’ll feel even better.
Unlike good habits that take practice, bad habits function like a drug. The more you do them, the higher the level of stimulation needed to satisfy you. Good habits therefore always seem more boring and difficult to maintain.
To change this then, you must first teach your inner child to be less stimulated. Instead of relieving your anxiety through consumption, relieve it through sports. Instead of building your self-esteem by social-validation feedback loops, build it through your competence. Instead of beating yourself up in procrastination, find a hobby that you want to learn. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it makes sense for you.
It will take some willpower and discipline to start. But gradually, the accumulation of these small daily decisions will train your subconscious mind to less stimulating activities. You may find pleasure in activities such as reading, a simple conversation, or a short walk in the woods, or something else. Only you know what makes you feel good.
In any case, healthy habits will always require more mental effort to build than unhealthy ones. To achieve this, you need to be guided by something other than instant gratification and pleasure.
The extra effort must have a purpose.
For a long time, I considered routines boring.
When I saw these people going to the gym every day, at the same time, after doing the same job, I couldn’t help but think: how boring their lives must be. I was completely allergic to those articles that recommend you read for 30 minutes a day, at the same time, right after the same yoga session as the day before. And this and that. Boooooring.
But I’ve changed my mind.
In fact, having a routine is just as important as breaking that same routine. I’m not going to try and persuade you to work 142 hours a week to achieve your dreams. It all depends on the goals you set beforehand. But if there is a goal you want to work towards, an idea of who you want to become, whatever it is, then the actions you repeat most often should be consistent with that idea. Otherwise, you will make no substantial progress.
Habits are inevitable. It is literally impossible not to have them. Do you change jobs every 6 months? Well, you are used to navigating new projects. Do you move to a new country every year? You have a traveling habit. Do you get a new romantic partner every 3 weeks? Then you’re experiencing a routine of short-term relationships.
You may have the most exciting life in the world, but you inevitably fall back into habits, whatever they may be. Therefore, it is all the more essential to break them often.
You don’t have to be a robot. Letting go, getting off the rails, and just enjoying yourself is just as important as having self-discipline. But do it long enough, and chilling will soon become your new habit. It’s all about balance.
Knowing that habits are inevitable, you’re better off choosing your habits so that they work for you. Otherwise, they will choose you and work despite you. The good news is that you’re already doing it every day, without even realizing it.
When you go shopping, I bet you’re armed with a list of the products you need. You may even know exactly what shelves they’re in.
You don’t just go into town with nothing, go to a sports store to buy your clothes, look for comfortable shoes, ask passers-by where the nearest fitness center is, pay for your daily workout, and then borrow a towel to shower, right? No, you’ve already bought a bag in which you pack the same things, to go work out in the same gym where you’ve already bought a fitness membership.
You don’t just go to the airport without a suitcase, buy a random flight, and leave anywhere without booking a single night in a hotel? Well, unless you’re celebrating your bachelor party in Budapest. But that doesn’t count.
Every day, you organize your environment to effectively achieve the goals you have set for yourself: eating, exercising, traveling. You prepare all these things in advance so that you don’t have to worry about them later.
This way, you free up time and energy to focus on what really matters: enjoying a good meal, staying in shape, discovering a new culture. These examples may seem trivial to you, but it is nonetheless true that you organize most of your life around clear and precise goals, through your habits.
So my question is: if you do it for the most mundane aspects of your life, why not do it for the most important ones? We sometimes have a hard time applying such simple examples to the general aspects of our lives, because they involve many more variables. But in the end, it’s the same line of reasoning.
I want to bring you back to that level of simplicity: a routine can be very enjoyable, as long as it serves a purpose that you value more than short-term pleasure.
Earlier in this article, I was telling you about the strength of your dopaminergic reward system. When freewheeling, it can potentially cause you to plunge into your vain pleasures such as addictions.
But the key is to understand that this strength can be used for your best interest. Once your goals are broken down into micro-processes, they become challenging because of their conscious association with the final goal.
If your goal is to lose 10 kilograms, doing your weekly exercises suddenly becomes stimulating. If you want to release your own album at the end of the year, the hours spent in the studio become even more exciting. If you want to write a book in the next 6 months, then the 30+ hours of research per week will suddenly make a lot more sense.
Imagine the power of a routine that activates the same neurological circuits as a cigarette. Except that instead of enriching Philip Morris, your dopamine reward system encourages you to perform the micro-processes that make you feel happier. Moreover, once turned into habits, these micro-processes are carried out with little to no effort. Almost automatically.
Just visualize the power of this system, accumulated over many years. That is exactly what your reward system can do for you, as long as you use it wisely.
